OFF TO HIGH SCHOOL....YIKES!!!

So it's almost the first day of school and this, you have been told are the most important years of your life...you are about to step into the halls which will hold all your secrets for the next 4 or 5 years...the halls that will hold all your thoughts, be it happiness, sadness, fear, regret or excitement....these halls will be the ones you will share your fears with when you are on your way to the principals office for the first time, and the ones you will share your excitement with the first time you sign yourself out...yes these halls will be your best friend and at times it will feel like they are your only friend.

I'm not going to lie to you...high school is tough...it's a hard place to be about 80% of the time...you will have a love hate relationship with this building...you will wake up days dreading the trip to school and become obsessed with looking at the clocks beggin it to read 3:15pm....yes high school will be tough...it's not anything like junior high...it is a whole different ball game!....you are entering a place where they have not only mean girls, but they also have jocks, brainers, artsy types and the loners...you thought you had trouble fitting in as a grade 6er??...finding where you fit in at this place will be 10 times worse!

If you think back to going into Juinor high, or if you think back to any situation where you were terrified of how you were going to do the first day, you survived!...so just like that...I PROMISE you...you will survive this too

Finding out where you fit in will be an interesting experience...in high school you will see that there are all kinds of pockets...people form different clicks and throughout the years different kids come in, take over, change it up then move on when they graduate, then you find new kids come in and do the same thing as those before them....you wil do a lot of learning about yourself while you decide where you fit in...you may begin in grade 9 as a brainer, then in grade 10 you'll find you're more of a mean girl or a jock then grade 11 you may decide to go back to being a brainer because college is important and you just don't want anything to mess that up....then in grade 12 others may see you as a loner, but you may just see it as you doing your own thing and cutting all ties with those that held you back the past 4 years...so you will bounce around in different clicks...and it'll be great and suck at the same time...but when you are done with high school it will be great to look back at all the different experiences you had and all the different people you hung out with those very important years.

There was a bit of pressure before high school and there will be after high school...but while you're in high school pressure is the worse...it's terrible just how much pressure lives within that building...pressure plays a huge part in high school and it will either make or break you over the years....but like i keep saying 'you'll be fine'....being able to deal with the pressure will be the hardest part...if you develope a method to tackle these pressures it'll be easier to deal with once it comes around....so here are a few pointers:

1) Pressure from your teachers to try your hardest:

-teachers expect every student to try their hardest...they expect you to come into their classroom and leave all your issues in the halls...they expect that you sit down, close your mouths and open your ears...they expect you to take notes and write down the lessons so you can complete your homework correctly...they expect you to ask questions if you don't understand something....and to hand in all assignements on time

HOW TO DEAL:

- the most important thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open with your teacher...let him/her know what's going on with you, because lets face it, they will become like another parent because they will see you more than your parents most likely...so if you can, let them know what is going on with you...if you have other responsibilities for example...this information would be very important for your teachers to know because this will allow them to understand why you're assignments are never on time, or why you seem sleepy every morning...allowing them to see what your life is will ease the pressure off you because they will have no choice but to see you as an individual

-be honest...if you are really just not into the subject you are learning about right now then tell your teacher that...but NOT infront of the whole class...after class...stay back after class is done and just be straight up with your teacher...because trust me if you are not interested they know there is no way they can get you to pass that subject which will add pressure onto them....so if you are honest and tell them how you feel and why the two of you can come up with a plan to make the subject less boring for you and will help the teacher to get some assignments handed in from you...and this applies to any reason you may not be doing the work...if there is a particular reason you can't do the work you need to let your teacher know because they are the ones that are marking you and if you don't let them know what's going on you have no right to complain about getting low grades!

2) Pressure from parents:

- It's hard being a teen...it's also hard being the parent of a teenager...so the two of you are bound to bud heads!...while you're in high school you are going to have a tough time at home at some point over the next 5 years...your home life will play a huge part in your performance at school...you will have to wake up and get ready for school and walk the halls with a smile on your face while all you can think about are the problems you are having at home....you will then have to go home and jump right back into the battlefield again and wake up tomorrow and do it all over again....it's hard being a teen and being a parent of a teen because neither of you understand eachother...you don't understand how your parents expect you to do excellent in school when you have so much going on...they don't get that you are being teased at school or that you didn't get the part in the play that you wanted and now you may be pushed down the social ladder because of it...they don't get that for some reason you had to sit alone at luch and you were chosen last in gym class...they totally don't get that you hate your going into the locker room because none of the other guys legs in your gym class are as hairy as yours....meanwhile your parents are feeling that you don't get that they can no longer aford to buy you the latest fashions this school year...or that you don't get that your parents are slowly slipping away from eachother so thats why there was no family vacation this summer...they feel you totally don't get that because they didn't get to go to college they so desperately want you to do better which is why they keep drilling you on handing things in on time and studying hard for those test you know you'll ace whether you study or not

HOW TO DEAL:

-talk, talk, talk!!!...talk to eachother!...this is the one and only thing you can do...you have to sit and talk to your parents...let them know what it's like being your age in this day and age...let them know that a 15 year old today is much different than a 15 year old back when they were that age...let them know why it's hard for you to open up to them about certain things and let them know what the pressure they put on you does to your spirit and the toll it takes on your relationship....if you open up about this your parents will do the same and share with you how they feel and their reasons for doing what they do and saying what they say...if you both are just yelling at eachother nothing will get better...you HAVE to talk TO eachother not AT eachother

-if your parents are not approachable get a third person involved...and NOT a friend!...you need to have another adult involved to help you approach your parents...another parent, a teacher, principal, older cousin, aunt, uncle, grand parent, anyone you can trust who you know will help you get your point across...another person who could help is an older sibling...this person is perfect because they have been where you are and they may have to remind your parents about the areas they went wrong with them...this will be kind of like a wake up call that they are slipping into the same behaviour....your older sibling will also offer comfort to you and will help you 'deal' with these pressures.

3) Pressure from friends:

-your friends will put on the most amount of pressure these next 4 or 5 years....they will play a role in everything you do and every decision you make...I don't know what it is about high schools but all of a sudden your friends become the most important people in your lives and they have some kind of hold over you...they will tell you how to act, dress talk and even walk...you will find that you will be doing what your friends do....if they join the swim team...you will join...even if you can't swim...you will risk drowning just so you are not an outcast...you will say what your friends say...if they put the word 'like' at the end of every sentence you will find yourself doing the same thing...even if you know it's not proper you will do it anyway....if your friends decide that they are not wearing a jacket to the dance...you will do the same...even if it's december and your teeth are chattering...you won't dare say the words 'I should have brought my jacket'...if your friends take spanish you will take it too...even if you KNOW you would much rather take German....you will go against what will make you happy you will do the exact opposite.

-then there are the major pressures...you will be pressured to do what everyone else is doing...whether it's sex, drugs, starving themselves, taking steriods, purging and binging, obsessed with working out, beating other kids up, stealing, selling drugs or any of the other million things going on out there....when you fall into these pressures it's very hard to get out...it's very hard to 'deal' but the hardest part is finally making the decision to get out...it's a brave but tough thing to do your own thing and just not get involved in what everyone else is doing.

HOW TO DEAL:

- dealing with peer pressure is hard...it's hard because it's embarrassing...it's embarrassing being the girl who says she's not going to kiss a boy tonight at the dance....it's embarrassing being the boy who says he's not going to take the 'roids' because he heard what it does to your body and he's willing to risk it...it's hard being the kid that everyone hates because you refuse to cover up for the classmate who is skipping to go to another city instead of coming to class....peer pressure sucks and it's hard...the thing to remember is that you are your own person...you have to remember that these people do not control you...they took no part in raising you therefore they have no right to tell you how to live your life....you have to believe that being part of a bad crowd is much worse than being a part of no crowd...if you go along and steal from the store and end up being the one who gets caught then what??...are they going to have your back and say you didn't do it? are they going to get you a lawyer or even explain to your parents that it was something you never really wanted to do?...gurantee...they will not...they will do the exact opposite and say it was all your idea and make sure you take the fall...it's not worth it...it's not worth it to fall into peer pressure because in the end...that group you so desperately want to be a part of will leave you out in the cold just as quickly as they accepted you into their click....you need to know that anyone who decides you are not worthy because you choose not to go against what you believe in...is not worth going against what you believe in!....you are your own person and you can do bad all by yourself!