Mean Girls!

So I only just watched the movie Mean Girls the other day and it is sooo true! I think this movie should have swept the academy awards it's release year because it hit the nail right on the head and it showed a world that I think many adults don't know about....it was a bit hard to watch because I had come in contact with a few 'mean girls' in my time, sad to say but I actually was a mean girl at one point which I'm not proud of at all.

In elementary school I became friends with a girl who was rich and spoiled and thought the world was hers to play in and anyone else that wanted access to 'her world' needed to ask her first....I'm sure you know exactly the kind of girl I'm talking about...anyway I thought this girl was amazing...when I went to her house it was like a field trip! she had animals, a huge house, a pool and her parents had more than 1 car...I thought she was the most important person I knew and felt privledged to have been chosen to visit her house....anyway this girl was the ruler of the group of girls I hung out with....there was 5 of us including her...did I type leader?? oh my mistake...I meant to type dictator!...no I'm dead serious, this girl would tell us what to wear and when to wear it, she would decide which one of us would be the outcast that week, which by the way if it was you, you wouldn't find out until you got to school and no one was talking to you...terrible! The craziest thing is looking back now and I'm thinking why the heck did we go with it??...why did we all this girl who was our equal, to tell us how to live our lives at school? why did we allow her to have all this power?? surely it couldn't have been because she was sooo nice...so it had to be one reason and one reason only...she was rich...the fact that this girl was rich and could get all the latest gear was the only reason we took her on as our leader.

I look back on this whole experience now as an adult and I see why she was the way she was....she was the youngest in her family, but her siblings were waaaay older than her...so that's why she was so spoiled...her parents gave her everything and anything she wanted, my guess is maybe they were finally in a good financial place when she came along so they were able to do for her what they may not have been able to do for the older kids when things were tougher....she wasn't used to hearing the word 'no' at home, so outside the home there is no way she was going to tolerate anyone saying 'no' to her...which is why it was so easy for her to control us because we probly tried at one point to say 'no' to her but it probably didn't go well and so in hopes of not being an outcast we just decided it was easier to just say 'yes' to her every demand...this is where I blame the parents, because no matter what your financial situation you should never give a child everything they want...I know as a parent how hard this is, but it's something you have to do...because you are not teaching your children anything good by spoiling them rotten...if they get everything they want at home, the first time they hear the word 'no' it's going to be tragic...and that's not too bad for the person who says no to them, but tragic to your child...because they are going to be left confused and hurt and it's not going to be something they are going to handle...this could turn them into a monster...they will start to demand things and they will start to isolate those who don't do what they want, and they will be left alone and in very little control of their lives...spoiled kids turn into spoiled adults which is not a pretty site...spoiled adults will go after what they want and trample over anyone they have to get it....they will lie and scheme their way through life because that's what you have to do in order for someone to continue saying 'yes' if you're honest they're a chance you will hear 'no' but if you tell the right lie you will always hear what you want to hear....so parents, if you love you're kids...don't spoil them!

I know some of you out there are going through this right now....right now you're dreading heading back to school because you just don't know if you are going to be the outcast...it's bad during the school year finding out that you're the chosen outcast for that week, but to come on the first day with that feeling?? it's about 1348484757 times worse right??...I know, I've been there...it's hard when the person or people you trust all of a sudden turn on you...and it's even worse when they turn on you for no reason....I believe that if our 'leader' gave a reason as to why we were the 'chosen outcast' the blow wouldn't be so hard...but I don't remember there ever being a reason given...which is so mean...how can we learn from our mistakes if we don't know what our mistakes are??...Now that I'm an adult I can think of a million ways to deal with this....but back then all I did was cry...cry and hate myself for being the outcast...blaming myself for doing (what I know now is NOTHING) to make her mad....what I should have done was stand up to the leader and tell her that she is not my leader and find some new friends...but that's so much easier to say than it is to acutally do right?

When someone has control over you, what you have to do is just think to yourself why do I care so much about this person being my friend??...you need to ask yourself what would really happen if YOU decided that you weren't going to be this persons friend any more? what would be the worse thing that would happen? I'm here to tell you NOTHING....the world will not stop turning...the sun will not stop coming up in the morning and the best thing? you WILL make new friends!....your new found confidence will attract a whole new crowd and you will be much better off...so I'm giving you the encouragement to walk away from the 'mean girl/guy' (i know this also occurs in male friendships) in your life and take the control back on your life....if you have an outfit someone demands you wear on the first day, then step into your closet right now pick out something you would really rather wear and do just that...wear it with pride and don't even worry about the dirty looks you may get, because you're confident and strong and you are your own person....besides...being part of the crowd is sooo last year!